Friday 15 May 2015

My first year of blogging

So it's my blogiversary.  I couldn't let this day pass without giving it a mention, here's are my thoughts one year in!

I started this blog one year ago with no idea what would happen.  I didn't even know if blogging was something that I could keep up, I entirely expected to give up after 3 weeks and for the whole thing to be just a 'phase'.  However I think that accepting that fact and not worrying where this experience would lead me, weather I would fail (in the eyes of other people) or what other people might think has really freed me.  It's freed me to not worry if I haven't posted anything for over a month because I have had a relapse, it's freed me to not worry if my content is of poor quality, but most of all it has freed me to be myself.

I've defined unique standards for myself, not the ones that we us usually judge other people's online content by, but they are my standards, they are what I care about.  It matters to me that this blog is honest, because so often we see M.E. being misrepresented in the press and so often people with M.E. feel that they do not have a voice.  It matters to me that I am true to myself and do no conform to the blogging 'norms' just to fit in.  This means not doing tag posts just because they are popular, and not wearing makeup in my pictures, because I don't actually war makeup in real life.  I don't have anything against these things, they just aren't me.

When I started this blog, one of my biggest concerns was that if I did last more than 3 weeks I would soon run out of things to talk about.  After all once you have explained the illness and the significant hardships, what else is there to write about?  I couldn't have been more wrong, I think of new things to write about almost every day, and if it wasn't for brain fog preventing me from writing, or half of my ideas coming to me in the middle of the night when I am trying to avoid looking at screens, then I think that there would be a lot more content on here.  Currently there is quite a long list of blog posts almost ready to go up, my biggest issue by far is finding the good-brain days to edit them!

Originally I planned to write two blog posts a month and post them every other Wednesday, I kept half of that up! I am pleased that I have averaged about 2 posts per month, it means a lot to me that I reached my target for the year (this is post number 28).  However I quickly realised that I would not be able to keep to a schedule.  M.E. is an illness that is unpredictable and fluctuates from time to time, just as I have good point in they day - I also have good and bad weeks and months.  So a schedule really doesn't work for me.  I have learnt not to worry about anything like that at all!
I have become attached to the things that I have written, I wouldn't want to loose any of it.  All of the posts are backed up, and most of them take weeks or moths to write.  This is because I write about things that I am trying to work out my feelings on.  The writing process is far more important to me than the result.  Often I find that the finished posts seem very simple in hindsight.  I enjoy being able to look back on my journey and see how far I have come.

Over the past few months I have had comments like "you've said what I wan't to say but can't because I don't have the brain energy to organise my thoughts", "I've learnt so much about M.E. from reading your posts" "I really enjoy reading your blog" and "Thank you for telling me that there are other people out there going through the same thing as me... I thought I was alone, I can really relate to what you are saying".  These comment really mean a lot lot me, although I write for myself.  I deliberately decided to put this on a public platform, as I have benefited from reading what other people have written in the past.  Anna's blog in particular expressed my views during a time where I was too unwell to get my own thoughts together.  I am glad to be able to provide the same experience for other people.

In the future I would like to write more about the illness itself, and the stigma that it is surrounded by, as they are both thighs that I care about, they are also things that do not get talked about enough. They are topics that I find quite confusing to write about, so it will take me a long time to get them written in a way that I am happy with!

I love my blog, and I have found it so rewarding to write.  I have met some really lovely people along the way, it is nice to feel a part of something biger than myself.  I couldn't do this without the blogging community, they keep me going when I am having a not-so-good patch, and inspires me by being better that I am. I like to think that together we are building something special.

Anyway, I hope that you have enjoyed my overview of my first year in blogging, and that you have found it interesting to read about my writing process, and my motives for writing.

8 comments :

  1. Happy Blog Annervisary Jenny and well done on all your blogging! I too felt that same way about my blog when I first started it. In fact I remember signing up for it when I was at my worst with ME/CFS and then I didn't do anything with IT until 6 months later. I love having my blog it's almost like a diary and has opened me up to meeting new people. It's so good for us spoonies. It makes us feel like we are socialising, as well bringing enjoyment and keeping us busy.

    Lennae xxx

    www.lennaesworld.com

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  2. Thanks Lennae, it often seems like other people have a plan, when in actually fact I think we're all just bumbling along together! I agree with you about it being like socialising, my blog is where I go to meet new people, and some of the people who I talk to most often are frieds that I have met online. xxx

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  3. Happy 'blogiversary'...
    I love reading your blog, it is always so honest.
    You are helping so many by having a voice....
    Great work and thank you so much for sharing...

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  4. Congrats on blogging for a year! It's hard work maintaining a blog. There are so many "rules" about how often to blog etc but I would advise people with chronic illness to ignore that. I follow blogs I enjoy, yours being one, on bloglovin' or through email and I have no expectations. I know I will get the updates when they come :) "if it wasn't for brain fog preventing me from writing, or half of my ideas coming to me in the middle of the night" Oh how I can relate to that! I am really struggling to write at the moment but thankfully went through a period of being able to write a lot so scheduled posts and keeping my blog ticking along. Why is it the best ideas always come in the night?! Even if I write down the general idea, I find my blog posts are always best if I write them on the spurr of the moment when the idea first comes to me. I have so many ideas that I haven't written about as the motivation just isn't there.

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  5. I completely agree with you Donna. I find that I have to write when I am feeling inspired, otherwise it becomes a draining experience and the words don't flow the same way. But when I write due to inspiration it is an energising experience, and I really enjoy it! :) I am always impressed at haw you schedule posts - I have never been that organised!

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  6. Thank you very much! Your support is greatly valued. I hope that you are having a lovely day today! :)

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  7. Congrats! Glad you have found so much enjoyment in blogging! With ME, it helps to focus on anything you can enjoy when possible.

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  8. Yes it is really good to have something to focus on, this and knitting is what I spend a lot of my time doing! It's good because I can just do it as and when I am able to. I hope that your day is as good as possible today! :)

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